Twilight and Maximum Ride: Truth or Dare
by LilVampireFreak
Summary: A crazy Twilight and Maximum Ride fan kidnapps all Twilight and Maximum Ride characters. And It gets crazier she forces them to play truth or dare with the truths and dares you send in! One word: CHAOS! T for violence
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Maximum Ride. Because James Patterson and Mrs. Meyer said crazy little girls that have blonde hair can't own it.

Chapter 1: Introduction

Avery: Hello and welcome to Twilight & Maximum Ride: Truth or Dare! I've seen a couple of these online and I wanted to try it out. I'll try to be as original as I can. This is how it will work: you send in truths or dares, and I'll force the Twilight and Maximum Ride characters to do as instructed. Simple right? Before I begin I would like to tell you about myself. I am a girl who loves black clothes. I also love high heels. My mom says I need a straight jacket (I have such a kind and caring mother right? Please note heavy sarcasm) and my so called friends think I'm weird and crazy. I also LOVE Twilight and Maximum Ride!

Julianne: *knocks on door and comes in* Avery! What are you doing?

Avery: This is my evil minion Julianne.

Julianne: *slaps avery* For the hundredth time im not your evil minion!

Avery: *growls at Julianne* I'm filming my first ever Twilight & Maximum Ride: Truth or Dare episode. I've kidnapped all the Twilight and Maximum Ride characters.

Julianne: REALLY? SO YOU HAVE MY BELOVED FANG?

Avery: Yes, I do.

Julianne: CAN I MEET HIM?

Avery: No.

Julianne: Please?

Avery: No.

Julianne: Please?

Avery: No.

Julianne: PLEASE! I'll be eternally grateful.

Avery: *sighs* I guess. You'll be my co-host for today.

Julianne: Okay. *whispers to Avery* Does this mean we get to use the fang-shirt-off inator? Then we will get to see his six pack!

Avery: Maybe later. Here under curtain 1 is the Twilight cast!

Avery's magic pixie minions (that dress in black of course) lift curtain 1. The Twilight characters were super glued to the chairs.

Edward: Where are we?

Jacob: I can't move!

Bella: We're kidnapped!

Edward: Alice you should have seen this coming!

Alice: So you think this is my fault.

Rosalie: Yeah it kind of is shortie! *glares at Alice*

Avery: *hands Julianne an air horn*

Julianne: *uses the air horn and screams* BE QUIET! *hands Avery back the air horn*

The Twilight characters stop arguing

Avery: Thank you Julianne.

Julianne: *nods*

Avery: Everyone calm down, I will explain what is happening after we open the 2 curtain. Pixies please open the curtain.

Pixies: Yes The All Powerful One. *open the 2 curtain*

Max: I'm super glued to my chair!

Gasman: We should have thought to do this Iggy.

Fang: Let us go!

Nudge: Who are they? *points to the Twilight characters*

Rosalie: Those freaks probably had something to do with this *points to the Maximum Ride characters*

Max: We're super glued to the chairs too why do you think we had a part in this?

Maximum Ride and the Twilight characters argue amongst themselves

Avery: *pulls out her tazer threatingly* Stop arguing!

Characters: *exchange nervous glances*

Gasman: How come she gets a tazer?

Avery: Because I'm the All Powerful One.

Julianne: Avery your not the All Powerful One you just brainwashed the poor pixies to call you that.

Avery: *ignores Julianne* It works on sparkly vampires, werewolves, avian/human hybrids and everything in-between. Anyway viewers please send in your truth or dares to me and I'll force the character to do it. I'll see you next time!

Julianne: Bye! *waves and mouths 'Hi mom!'*

**Authors Note: Bella is not a vampire yet just in case you were wondering. This is my first ever fanfic so please don't trash it. And I would send you virtual cookies if you review. **


	2. Chapter 2: Are you high?

Avery: Hello and welcome back to Twilight and Maximum Ride Truth or Dare. Everything has gone great so far all because of me!

Edward: Highly unlikely.

Avery: *pulls out taser* What did you say?

Bella: *covers Edwards mouth* You've done an absolutely wonderful job!

Avery: That's what I thought he said. *puts away taser* By the way I'm sorry I haven't updated but we had a little problem.

Edward: Little? You have got to be kidding me. You were PMSing like crazy. First you were happy about how 'prettiful' your orange nail polish was.

Jacob: Next you were crying about how the orange clashes with your blonde hair.

Fang: Then you got angry at your brother for laughing at you and as you 'accidently' tazed him.

Iggy: Finally you felt guilty for snapping at electrifying your brother and made him forgive you.

Avery: *Glares at the boys* There will be a price to pay for saying that! *looks down at the floor* But I kinda was PMSing that day…

Angel: *raises hand* Miss. Avery, I have a question.

Avery: Miss. Avery? I like you already!

Angel: What happens when the reviewers stop reviewing?

Avery: I never really thought of that. I'll probably let you all free. Then I'll go back to torturing Neel.

Jacob: Who's Neel?

Avery: This annoying little nimrod who likes to annoy me by his very annoying presence and he's a birth control fail.

Esme: I guess he's not very bright for annoying you is he?

Avery: *nods and shuffles note cards*

Twilight & Maximum Ride Cast: *look at note cards nervously*

Avery: The first is from Hannahxlol _AVERY! HI! It's Hannah! I finally found your story! it's so awesome! make Jake morph and him and Edward fight to the death. Make the survivor battle Fang, and the next battle... Rosalie!_

Jake, Edward, Fang, Rosalie: *whimper and try to break free of the super glued chairs*

Avery: That's such a great comment!

Edward: *faints*

Avery: Hannah will be joining us on the show later on, so stay tuned! However much I like the dare we cannot do it.

Edward: *wakes up*

Jacob, Fang, Rosalie, Edward: *sigh out of relief*

Avery: Firstly, Twilight fangirls would murder me and second it's more fun to watch them suffer! So sorry Hannah. So next truths are from Mari713 : _Edward have you ever been jealous of Jacobs six pack and Iggy do you have a crush on Max? _So Edward you first.

Edward: Umm…uhh…umm…

Avery: *plays suspenseish music on iPod* Say it out loud. Say it. See that's my imitation of you!

Edward: Jacobs abs are FAKE!

Gasps through out the audience. Team Jacob people pelt Edward with dinosaur fruit snacks.

Edward: AHHHHH!

Avery: Just admit it Edward, you're jealous.

Edward: No.

Avery: Hmmm *taps chin thoughfully* Maybe a playdate with the taser will help. *grins evilly*

Edward: I ADMIT IT! IM JEALOUS OF JACOB BLACK! HEAR THAT I'M JEALOUS! J-E-A-L-O-U-S! *kicking and screaming* HIS STUPID ABS AND ALL HIS SHIRTLESS STATE!

Avery: SECURITY!

Giant gummy bears of different colors with vampire fangs wearing Dracula capes escort Edward out of the building.

Avery: Now that's over with we will continue. Iggy?

Iggy: Um..well you see it's a funny story…we were in Vegas-

Max: IGGY!

Iggy: *backs away from Max* Fine! I'm not sure.

Avery: That was totally unproductive I didn't get to taze anybody! I think it's time to let Eddie back in. *grabs walkie talkie* This is red roses (we have cool code names) is Mama bear ready to fly?

Bob the gummy bear minion: What?

Avery: Oh my my my you're not the brightest crayon in the 24 pack are you? I'm saying, this is your master is Edward ready to come back yet?

Bob: Yep! Over and out. *brings Edward in and superglues him back to a chair*

Avery: The next dare is from Fly On Maximum Taylor Ride : Fang kiss Bella.

Bella: Well goth dudes are kinda hot! Like Adam Lambert. Something attractive about a man in eyeliner.

Avery: Totally!

Fang: NO I DON'T WANNA KISS THE UN-GOTH WITCH! I ONLY DATE EMO PEOPLE! LIKE ME AND JASPER ARE EMO!

Avery: *grabs Fang's goth little ear and pulls him to Bella* On the count of three you kiss kay? One…two…three *bangs their heads together so they kiss*

Audience goes awwww

Bella: I see stars…pretty stars! *trys to touch imaginary stars*

Avery: Yep, she has a concussion! Can somebody get my paramedic minions in here please? Or we can leave her like this…

Bella: Haha you have pink highlights *plays with Avery's hair*

Avery: Hannah should be here any minute now.

Hannah: Hey!

Avery: Hi! Can you do something about her? *nudges Bella with her shoe*

Hannah: Okay! *picks up Bella and throws her into the trunk of the Porsche*

Avery: I'm sure that's illegal but who cares. Cause we are awesome! What were we doing again?

Hannah: The next review.

Avery: Oh yes. Audience please excuse my stupidity at times because I'm a blonde! Hannah would you like to do the honors of the next review?

Hannah: YEPERZ! The next review is from Julianne : _take fangs shirt off_. By the way Julianne could not be here because I quote 'I was can't come because my dreams were too long. The dream finished around 9:00 am already when I have to get to there before 7:30!whew! that's not quite easy! I'm not wonder woman who can just spin around then "tada!" she's ready to go!' So we'll save that one for to be here to drool over him. *smiles sweetly*

Avery: *reads next note card to herself* MINION! Will you get the phone? *laughs evilly*

Nudge: We're so screwed.

Bob: *hands Avery iPhone* Here Master!

Avery: *dials* Hello it's Avery.

Taco Cabana worker named Jill: Miss. Cotten? *terrified* You just ordered yesterday, why are you back so soon?

Hannah the review is from Moonstar2015 : _make someone stand behind the gasman after u feed him some really spicy Mexican food and beans if u know what i mean_

Avery: Will I'm doing my truth or dare show and need some food. Like eight taco combos no beans, 1 pound of fajita meat beef, a dozen flour tortilla's flour please, two dozen corn tortilla's, and queso and chips. Then multiply all that food by two! Have it delivered also, Jill! Bye. *hangs up*

Hannah: Avery, who is all that food for?

Avery: ME! And two tacos for Gasman.

Jacob: You can eat all of that?

Avery: YEPERZ!

-*-*-* 15 Minutes Later -*-*-*

Avery: *lays food out on the table and starts sniffing it and sighing*

Emmett: What's wrong with her?

Hannah: She's in her taco cabana stage. She's very very very possessive of her taco cabana.

Rosalie: Avery!

Avery: *lazily* yes?

Rosalie: Are you high?

Avery: What do you mean?

Alice: Drugs?

Avery: No, I'm fine. I have my taco cabana and that's all ever need.

Hannah: Since she's zoned out I'll finish the show. *grabs Gasman's tacos and gives it to him* I think Avery wanted Fang, Edward, Jacob, Iggy to stand behind Gasman because of the PMSing remarks. *pushes the boys toward Gasman* Okay Gasman. On the count of three. One…two…three

Gasman: *farts*

A big green puff of smoke fills the room and everyone but Hannah and Avery(who are wearing a oxygen mask) passed out.

Hannah: THAT WAS AWESOME! I mean uhh…poor people/hybrid/werewolves/vampire things. So I think this is the end of the show. Bye! *waves*


	3. Chapter 3: Warning I'm a Stupid Blonde

Avery: Hi everyone after our "little" accident we are ready to continue the show! Sorry about not putting the jeaslousy in the last chapter!

Iggy: Psshh! You think everyone passing out from Gazzy's fart including him is "little".

Julianne: Hello people of earth! *sees fang* I HATE YOU! *throws multiple copies of Angel at him*

Avery: As you can see her obsession with Fang came to a close as she read Angel.

Julianne: Stupid Blonde that thinks she's like Jasper with her emotion crap.

Avery: For your info I'm NOT naturally a blonde! I was a brunette but dyed my hair blonde to have an excuse for my stupidness. *smiles at crowd like what she said makes sense*

Julianne: Why do I even try? Let's get to the reviews!

Edward: NO! *whimper* This NEVER goes well for me!

Jacob: Or me!

Bella: Me too!

Avery: Some people are just destined to hate you Bella. Please take it personally! *pats Bella's back awkwardly* The first is from Moonstar2015 you want Iggy to tell what happened in Vegas.

Iggy: Um well...

Max: IGGY! If you tell I'm going to tie you up with purple ducktape (it HAS TO BE PURPLE) drive you to a unknown location, fatten you up with rotten chocolate, then cut you into small pieces and feed you to the birds!

Iggy: *thinks of Avery's taser* Here's how the story goes...

Avery: Consider him dead.

Iggy: Well we were running for our lives the usual for us you know. This was during the time of Max's disney princess obession. Max got tickets to the Disney on ice thing. Since she didn't want to go alone she bribed me to go with her.

Max: IGGY!

Iggy: So as the nice and charming *gives a dazzling smile* guy I am I agreed to go with her. When we got there the security guard was flirting with Max. She kicked him. Lets just say he's unable to have children.

Max: *blushes*

Avery: That didn't happen in Vegas!

Iggy: Well I got to embarrass Max so it all turned out alright!

Avery: True...so next review Julianne!

Julianne: *smiles creepy* Put Jacob and Edward in a room with fangirls. AND WE CAN HAVE POPCORN! P-O-P-C-O-R-N! *sings a dumb song about popcorn*

Emmett: Barney and little kid shows rot your brain.

Alice: Obviously she has watched too many

Avery: *pushes Edward and Jacob into a room with screaming fangirls* We will leave them in there for 10seconds. One...two...orange...four...five...potato...six...seven...twenty...celery...eight...nine...brick...gurfths...ten! Ta-da! I finally can count correctly! Aren't your proud of me?

Julianne: *bangs head aganist wall repeadly* Stupid...stupid...stupid...stupid blonde.

Avery: *opens door*

Bella: MY POOR DAZZALING EMO 108 YEAR OLD VIRGIN BOYFRIEND!

Avery: HA! *points at Bella* You finally admitted he has problems!

Edward and Jacob looked molested.

Rosalie: The mutt got what he deserved.

Alice: *laughs evilly*

Emmett: The only thing that scares me besides the devil spawn over there *points to Avery* is her *points to Alice*. What if they joined forces? *shudders*

Avery: That's not quite a bad idea considering your a couple cards short of a deck.

Rosalie: Stupid move, Emmett! *slaps him* Why is everyone acting like such a blonde today. *Twirls blonde hair with fingers*

Angel: Oh the irony!

Avery: I think we are done for today! Next time I'll do some of the other dares I didn't get to. If you submit a truth or dare and tell me your favorite line I'll give you a SURPRISE! Bye.

Julianne: *stares off into space*

Avery: Stupid ginger...


End file.
